


Redeem My Life Again - volume 2

by jaeger_delta (deltasierra)



Series: Redeem My Life Again [2]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rugby, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:43:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deltasierra/pseuds/jaeger_delta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This started out as a prompt for a boarding school AU. Which... kind of spiraled out of control.</p><p>The Redeem My Life series explores an AU where Chuck grows up in a boarding school, bullied and alone, until one transfer student Raleigh Becket becomes his roommate... and how their lives continue after that, following some emotional parallels with the Pacific Rim canon.</p><p>Volume 2 details Chuck and Raleigh's relationship developing as they become adults.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taste

**Author's Note:**

> A new volume with a new chapter, and it's all fluffy smut. Yep.

Chuck and Raleigh started going out. And with how close they already were as friends, nothing much changed, except that now they called each other boyfriends, and, oh yeah, they were two horny adolescent guys. Chuck was determined to catch up with everything he’d been missing out on, and Raleigh happily obliged.

They were walking down the hallway, when Chuck spotted a supply closet nearby, and his fingers brushed lightly over Raleigh’s hand. He shot a knowing look at Raleigh, raising his eyebrows slightly, dimples forming in his cheeks with a sly grin. Raleigh answered with an equally knowing look and that luscious broad smile that made Chuck want to kiss him so badly it hurt. Seconds later they both dove into the room, locking the door behind them.

Chuck pushed Raleigh against the wall, capturing Raleigh’s mouth with his, hands roaming over his body, tugging at his shirt and pants. Raleigh laughed, just as eager to undress Chuck, but they didn’t even get that far. Chuck had gotten some practice in now, and he reached into Raleigh’s pants, grasping him tight and firmly stroking him.

“Fuck,” Raleigh whispered, and pulled Chuck in for another kiss, then fumbling at Chuck’s belt and zipper to get his hand in there. Within seconds they were both moaning and sighing, grinding against each other, feverishly kissing and making each other come.

Pretty soon it wasn’t just supply closets, it was the locker room, the men’s room, the archives, the library, and all over their own room; their beds, the shower, the desks, the freaking floor, and they’d gotten into the habit of carrying tissues around for a quick clean-up.

\---

Yancy was giving them a cold glare of death across the table in the cafeteria.

“I’m happy for you two and all, but you gotta start being more careful,” he said.

Raleigh shrugged. “It’s the 2010s and we’re in an all-boys school. We’re not the only couple,” he said.

Yancy frowned. “Oh? Name three,” he said.

Raleigh looked at Chuck, who raised his brow and shrugged. “I have no idea,” Chuck said.

“Yeah, see, I know for a fact Dean and Casey from 5C are together,” Yancy said. “‘cause they’re in my swimming class and I caught ‘em sporting hard-ons for each other and they told me. I did not freaking walk in on them jacking off together in the library’s geography section.”

“I was showing Raleigh a map of Down Under,” Chuck said with a straight face, and Raleigh nearly choked on his drink laughing. Yancy facepalmed.

“That’s the shit I’m talking about,” Yancy said. “Just… keep it to your damn room or something.”

He was entirely oblivious to Raleigh’s foot under the table tracing a path up Chuck’s leg.

Chuck smiled. “Yes, let’s keep it to our room,” he said. Raleigh grinned, and they both got up from the table and packed their bags, already making eyes at each other.

Yancy sighed. “Idiots,” he mumbled. 

\---

They were in the men’s room, Chuck’s hand around his length and under his shirt, pushing him against the door, kissing and sucking at his neck, when Raleigh decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hey,” Raleigh said, his hands working at Chuck’s belt and zipper, “I want to… use my mouth on you.”

Chuck blinked, his hormone-raging mind vaguely trying to imagine what Raleigh meant, and his body responded by going hard so fast he had to catch his breath. 

“You okay with that?” Raleigh said, waiting for Chuck to give him the go-ahead, even though his response was obvious.

Chuck groaned and managed to nod. “Yeah,” he said, his voice different than Raleigh had ever heard it before, laced with want. 

Raleigh smiled and bit his lip in anticipation. They hadn’t taken it this far, yet. He hadn’t taken it that far with anyone, so maybe he wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but all he knew was he wanted more of Chuck.

Raleigh tugged down Chuck’s trousers and boxers and then dropped to his knees. Chuck leaned back against the thin wall of the bathroom stall, looking down at Raleigh.

Now that Chuck’s length was standing up right in front of him, Raleigh felt nerves shooting through him as much as anything else. Slowly, he leaned forward, sticking out his tongue, and then licked Chuck from base to top.

“Fuck,” Chuck groaned, his head knocking back.

Raleigh licked again, this time curving his tongue around slightly, and Chuck just whimpered. Then, taking a deep breath and willing away his nerves, Raleigh parted his lips further and took Chuck into his mouth.

“Ohh, god, oh my god, oh fuck,” Chuck moaned and whimpered, tangling his hands in Raleigh’s hair. “That’s insane, that’s… fuck… Raleigh…”

It tasted like skin, Raleigh decided. It wasn’t gross, nor was it like a popsicle or something. He flicked his tongue around, curious about the texture, noting that the tip felt different than the base and also noting how his anatomical curiosity was making Chuck squirm and utter noises akin to moaning and crying at the same time.

Raleigh wondered how deep he could take it in, so he opened his mouth further and moved his head forward, and he felt Chuck’s grip on his hair tightening.

“Raleigh, I’m gonna come,” Chuck hissed, and as he said it he already was, bending forward, his hands digging into Raleigh’s scalp.

Okay, he didn’t mind the taste of the organ but this was really gross, and Raleigh coughed and spat it out on his hand and coughed again, and then looked up at Chuck whose face was all bliss. Raleigh laughed, wiping his mouth and hand with some toilet paper, spitting into it again, and tossed it into the toilet.

Chuck pulled Raleigh close and kissed him, then promptly broke off the kiss and pulled a face.

“Yeah, that’s how it tastes,” said Raleigh, grinning.

“Huh,” was Chuck’s only reply. Then he shrugged and kissed Raleigh again.


	2. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck and Raleigh dress up for the yearly graduation gala. But Chuck ends up very annoyed as Raleigh is roped into dancing with a girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: Graphic Violence  
> Other warnings: homophobic slurs, angst
> 
> The good news is: there's a new chapter!  
> The bad news is: ... it won't make you feel as happy as the previous.  
> The other news is: I am looking for a beta! I want to improve the quality of the fic and currently don't have anyone beside myself and spell-check software. Hit me up at [jaeger-delta@tumblr](http://jaeger-delta.tumblr.com/ask) if you're interested.

With a frustrated sigh, Raleigh yanked the black tie off his collar again. “How do you even do this?” he whined.

Behind him, Chuck laughed. “Hang on, I’ll help you,” Chuck said, finishing his own tie.

“This whole prom thing is ridiculous,” Raleigh complained.

Chuck came to stand behind him, reaching over Raleigh’s shoulders for his tie. “I’m not a fan either,” Chuck said. “But it’s worth it, seeing you in a suit,” he added with a grin, his fingers expertly folding the tie around Raleigh’s neck.

Raleigh turned around. “You don’t look so bad yourself,” he said, wrapping his arms around Chuck and pulling him in for a kiss. “Wish we could stay here and I could tear that suit right off.”

Chuck pushed Raleigh away with a laugh. “It’s Yance’s graduation gala,” he said. “He’ll kick your ass if you don’t attend.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Two hours into the festivities, Chuck found himself searching a quieter corner in the Pacific College main hall -- nicknamed the Dome by students for its typical shape and structure. The boarding school threw a fancy gala for graduates every year that all students over the age of 16 could attend. Chuck had never bothered before, but this would be the last day Yancy was at the school, and it _was_ a great excuse to see Raleigh in a suit.

He was beginning to regret dragging Raleigh to the party instead of staying in their room, however.

Since the school was an all-boys one, the graduation gala traditionally invited students from their affiliated all-girls boarding school. There were girls. A lot of them. And Raleigh was popular. A lot.

Chuck glared at the girl that had gotten her hands on Raleigh. A brunette in a red dress and a wide smile, which she was showing Raleigh all the time. And that jerk, for his lack of knowing how to put on formal dress, sure knew how to dance.

Just when Chuck figured this night couldn’t get any worse, Dan of all people approached him. They were on the same rugby team, sure, but Chuck entirely avoided talking to him or being near him if he could help it. And Dan avoided him too, undoubtedly because Chuck had almost crushed his nuts once.

“Hey, Chuck,” Dan said.

“What do you want,” Chuck grumbled, not taking his eyes off Raleigh and the pushy brunette.

“I… wanted to apologize,” Dan started. “For back then. Me and my mates treated you like shit. But you’re a good guy. Good rugby player. So.”

Chuck spun around and looked at Dan, Raleigh and his dance partner momentarily forgotten. Chuck took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool. He’d gotten a long way. He hadn’t expected one of his former bullies to come up to him and apologize. What was he going to say? He still wanted to punch the guy’s lights out.

“Thanks. I guess,” Chuck mumbled.

Dan reached out his hand. Chuck looked at it like it was diseased, and then looked up at Dan. His expression was genuine enough.

Grudgingly, Chuck took Dan’s hand and gave it a firm shake.

Something approximating a smile appeared on Dan’s face. That freaked Chuck out even more.

“Listen,” Dan said. “Me and some of the guys from the team are having drinks in the back parking lot. Wanna join?”

Chuck cast a sideways glance at the dance floor. Brunette was still getting her grubby hands all over Raleigh, and Raleigh didn’t seem to mind. A flare of jealousy burnt through his chest.

“Sure, yeah,” Chuck replied.

Chuck followed Dan into the parking lot, and sure enough, there was a small group of guys, some of whom were on the team, and a few others Chuck didn’t immediately recognize.

They were greeted with cheer and some measure of drunken laughter, and Chuck got a beer shoved into his hands.

Awkward at first, the conversation quickly took off when Chuck brought up the rugby play-offs, and pretty soon they were laughing and trading quips like he’d always been a part of the group.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


Raleigh had finally managed to excuse himself from dancing - the girl was called Amy and her father was on the Pacific College board of members, so he’d braved Chuck’s fiery glares and played nice with her. But now he wanted to get back to his boyfriend. Chuck had vanished from the spot he’d been at for the better part on an hour and Raleigh couldn’t find him anywhere in the Dome.

He found Yancy in the crowd hanging out with his roommate, Tendo, who despite the formal dress code had still managed to wear suspenders.

“Yance,” Raleigh said, “Have you seen Chuck?”

Yancy shook his head. “No, not for a while. He was looking pretty angry at you, though,” Yancy replied.

Raleigh sighed. “I know. That was a board member’s daughter,” he explained.

“I think I saw him with Dan,” Tendo chimed in.

Raleigh frowned. “Those two aren’t exactly best buds,” he said.

“You should go find him,” Yancy said. “Knowing Chuck’s temper around that guy…”

Tendo nodded in agreement.

Raleigh’s frown deepened. “I got a bad feeling about this,” he said.

  
  


\---

  
  


The beer was definitely getting to him, Chuck thought. When was the last time he drank? Probably never. Things were getting kind of blurry.

Dan slapped his hand on Chuck’s shoulder. “You okay, buddy?” he said.

“Not so sure,” Chuck said. He shook his head, his speech feeling slurred.

Dan was laughing. “You’ll be fine. Not used to beer, are ya?”

“I should go,” Chuck said, trying to focus, and stumbled when he tried to turn around.

"Go where, Chuckie?"

Chuck froze. He knew that voice, that intonation, and his body protested against the entire implication of it. A wave of nausea rose up in his chest and Chuck fell to his knees and threw up. He heard the guys laugh.

"Scott," Chuck growled. 

"I'm so glad you remember me," Scott said. He grabbed Chuck’s hair and yanked his head up. Up close, Chuck could see how scarred Scott’s face looked, nose skewed, jaw crooked. And despite his predicament, Chuck laughed.

“You came back for more?" Chuck said. “Want me to make your face even prettier?"

Scott’s eyes flared up in anger and he lashed out with a clenched fist, hitting Chuck full in the face. The force threw Chuck down on his side and he spat out blood.

He was in real trouble. But he'd rather die than give Scott any kind of satisfaction.

Gathering his strength, Chuck sat up and gave Scott a defiant glare.

"There's something I've always wanted to tell you," Chuck said.

“Oh, what’s that?" Scott said, leaning closer. "You regret not letting me fuck you, Chuckie?"

Chuck rasped and spat, the mix of blood, saliva and vomit landing on Scott’s face. Scott growled, raising his fist again.

"You're pathetic," Chuck said. “You're a sick, pathetic asshole, and I'm going to beat the shit out of you, and when I'm done you won't fucking make it to the hospital."

Scott wiped the spit off his face and laughed.

“But Chuckie, how are you going to do that?" Scott said. “Do you have Raleigh’s dick so far up your throat you can't count? Because I see ten of us, and only one of you."

Chuck gritted his teeth. “You’re a bunch of sad cowards,” he snarled.

Scott grasped Chuck’s hair again, and put his face close to Chuck’s. “And you’re a dead little faggot,” Scott growled, and smacked Chuck’s head down onto the pavement.

The blow didn’t knock him out, but blood was gushing down his face and most of his vision was made of dark and light flecks. Chuck lashed out at Scott, who jumped out of his reach, laughing. And the other guys approached him.

“You’re my teammates,” Chuck managed to say, trying to get back up on his feet.

One of the other players whom Chuck recognised as Chris stepped forward.

“I think you got it wrong, Hansen,” Chris said. “We’re not playing on your team at all.”

Chuck barely managed to dodge Chris’ right hook, but by then he was surrounded. Someone shoved him. A boot landed in his abdomen with a sickening thud and he collapsed again, trying to catch his breath. Someone kicked him in the back full force and Chuck screamed, curling up on the pavement. He saw a boot come towards his head, and braced himself. Then everything went black.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


When he opened the door to the back parking lot and saw the crowd of guys laughing, hitting and kicking at someone, Raleigh didn’t even have to look at who it was. He didn’t hear himself scream Chuck’s name, was barely aware of running towards the group, and Yancy and Tendo were right behind him, shouting.

The group dispersed fast in all directions, the badly lit paths and parks around the lot lending them cover and a quick getaway. Yancy ran after one of them. Tendo reached for his phone, calling 000. Raleigh knelt down next to Chuck.

“Hey, hey, Chuck, come on,” Raleigh said, shaking him. “Come on, wake up."

“Don’t move him,” Tendo said, as calmly as possible. “The ambulance will be here soon.”

“Chuck, get up, say something,” Raleigh continued to ramble, his clothes staining with Chuck's blood. Tears were streaming down his face. “You gotta get up,” he sobbed. “I love you. Get up. Just get up.”

Yancy came running back, and when he saw Raleigh with Chuck in his arms, Yancy sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around Raleigh. The crowd from the party was slowly pouring into the lot, shocked and muttering amongst each other.

“He’s going to be all right, Ray,” Yancy said, not sure he believed it himself. “He’s strong. He’s gonna be okay.”

In the distance the faint howl of the ambulance was gradually getting louder.


	3. Shatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck is in the hospital, and in very bad shape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: none
> 
> This was a tough one to put into words, so apologies if the quality is crappy. Didn't want to keep y'all in suspense too long (plus, I want to move on and get back to the smutty part of the story *cough*)

Raleigh, Yancy and Tendo were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital’s emergency ward. It had been hours. Raleigh was still in shock, Yancy stayed close to him, and Tendo was hunched over his laptop. They wouldn’t let them near Chuck, not being close relatives, and Chuck’s father had walked right past them into the ER and hadn’t come out. The doctors wouldn’t give them any news.

But Tendo had his ways. Yancy’s roommate was an honest-to-god computer nerd, the kind who didn’t shy away from making a profit. Usually by getting his hands on test questions or cracked software, but at that moment his skills came in handy in other ways.

“Ha, I got it!” Tendo exclaimed.

Yancy leaned over and glanced at the laptop screen. “You got what?”

Tendo took out one of his earbuds and handed it to Yancy. “Police wireless, right here from our own laptop. Apparently the people’s tax money goes to building a livestream accessible through a web service that is entirely unprotected from XXE attacks. Tch, noobs.”

He might as well be speaking Chinese as far as Yancy was concerned, but it’s the end result that mattered. He put in the earbud and listened.

_“... incident at Pacific College… witnesses report eight to ten young men ages 16 to 19… related to … hospital … Scott Mayer taken in for questioning…”_

Yancy dropped the earbud. “Scott Mayer,” he said. “That’s…”

“Scott?” Raleigh mumbled, startling Tendo and Yancy. He hadn’t said anything for over an hour.

Yancy turned his head, the earbud falling out in the process. “Yeah, police radio says he was involved. He’s the kid who assaulted Chuck before, right?” he said.

“And Chuck beat him into a pulp,” Tendo added.

Raleigh sighed, burying his face in his hands. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “This shit has got to end.”

“The police have him, anyway,” Yancy said.

“There’s more,” Tendo interrupted, handing the earbud to Yancy again. “News feed.”

_“Police are investigating an incident at Pacific College, rumored to be gay bashing amongst the school’s rugby team. This isn’t the first time the school has been in the news. There was a violent incident several years ago, and rumors of severe bullying and homophobia in Pacific College have been around since the school’s founding in 1903. With this news, it seems the board will be forced to make drastic changes or face an increasing outflux of students.”_

Yancy dropped the earbud and sighed. “I told you guys to be careful,” he said. “We were dealing with that shit already and then you and Chuck --”

“What are you saying?” Raleigh said, not sure if Yancy was accusing him or saying something else entirely.

Tendo placed a hand on Yancy’s thigh and leaned forward. “Keep it together,” he said, placing a kiss on Yancy’s cheek, and then leaned back, his focus back on the laptop’s screen, hands typing away.

There was a slight pause when Yancy looked back at Raleigh, and Raleigh’s already shocked brain was making the connection.

“Wait, what?” he eventually said. “... You two?”

“Er, yeah,” Yancy said.

Raleigh’s face sagged into his palms again. “I never freaking noticed,” he mumbled.

“‘s okay,” Yancy said. “Hard to notice things with Chuck all over your face.”

That actually made Raleigh laugh out loud, and for the first time in hours he felt slightly better.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


When Chuck’s dad approached, Raleigh and Yancy rose from their seats. Tendo stayed seated, not even looking up from his laptop.

“How is he?” Raleigh blurted out.

Herc Hansen’s grim expression gave them little hope. “Are you Chuck’s friends?” Herc asked, a slight tremor in his voice belying his gruff exterior.

“I’m his boyfriend,” Raleigh said at the same time Yancy said “Yes,” and behind them Tendo shook his head.

“His boyfriend?” Herc said, somewhat taken aback. His eyes narrowed.

“Please,” Raleigh said. “Is Chuck going to be okay? Is there anything we can do?”

Herc grimaced. “I think you’ve done enough,” he said, and turned away, walking towards the hospital exit.

“What?” Raleigh said. “Please, sir,” he added insistently, and to that, Herc stopped in his tracks and turned around, walking back to them in large, brisk steps until he towered over Raleigh.

“Boyfriend?” he growled. “If it wasn’t for you, my son wouldn’t be in there with his head bashed in!” Herc brought his face close to Raleigh’s and grabbed his shirt, lifting him off the ground. “You stay away from him,” he hissed.

Yancy positioned himself between the two of them, pulling Raleigh down, and glared at Herc. “If it wasn’t for Raleigh, Chuck wouldn’t have been anywhere!” Yancy shouted. “He didn’t have any friends, nobody to talk to!”

“Yance…” Raleigh said, touched by his brother’s fierce defense. And Yancy wasn’t done.

“Don’t judge us when you haven’t been there for him,” Yancy continued. “He was getting by all on his own before! Where we you then? Raleigh is the reason Chuck’s actually happy!”

Herc let go of Raleigh, and took a step back. He sized up Yancy, and seemed somewhat impressed by his plea.

“Could you please just tell us how he’s doing,” Raleigh said, a tone of desperation in his voice.

A doctor who’d been observing their argument stepped forward. “Sir, with your permission,” he said, addressing Herc calmly and respectfully. “I can inform the young men about your son’s condition.”

“Hmph,” Herc grumbled. “You do that.” He spun around again, and marched away.

  
  


\---

  
  


“Chuck was brought in with severe internal bleeding and cranial trauma,” the doctor said. “No broken bones, which is the good news. We managed to stop the bleeding and stabilize him.”

“What’s the bad news?” Yancy said.

“He hasn’t woken up yet,” the doctor said. “We don’t know the extent of the damage to his brain until he does.”

Raleigh rose from his chair.

“Ray--?” Yancy started, but Raleigh didn’t answer. He turned around and ran out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

Tendo held back Yancy, who wanted to go after him. “Let him be for a while,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” the doctor said. “Leave your number with me. I’ll call you if there is any news.”

“Thank you,” Yancy said. “This means a lot.”

“Don’t mention it,” the doctor replied, giving a slight nod to the rainbow pin on his desk.

  
  


\---

  
  


There was cold darkness all around him, and a faint thumping sound, like he was underwater. The sound became louder and louder, increasing in pitch until it was a sharp constant beeping, thrumming into his head. It pulled at him, dragging him up to the surface.

Chuck opened his eyes.

His head felt strange, like it was twice as big, and the room seemed to spin as if it was slowly orbiting around him. It didn’t feel great. The beeping sound was still there, and the room went into a new spin when he tried to turn his head towards it.

He heard a voice outside, getting louder. Someone entered the room.

“... I'll come to your place later, Yance. No change, no. ... Yes I'm eating right. Stop mothering me. I just have to be here if he --"

Raleigh nearly dropped the phone when he saw Chuck, eyes open, looking at him.

“Chuck?” Raleigh said.

He approached the bed, not sure if he’d seen it right. But Chuck was there, awake, alive. Raleigh’s heart was pounding in his chest.

“You’re awake,” Raleigh said. He carefully reached out to take Chuck’s hand in his own. “I’m so glad.”

“Where am I?” Chuck whispered. It was painful to talk. His voice didn’t really cooperate, and it hurt to breathe. He looked at Raleigh. The room was still in a slow spin, but it seemed to stop at his hand, where Raleigh was holding it.

“And who are you?” Chuck said.

Raleigh’s phone slipped from his hand and hit the floor, the glass on the screen shattering to pieces.


	4. Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck is recovering, slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: none
> 
> I'm sacrificing quality for speed, but here you go <3
> 
> This particular plotline is totally borrowed from Hana Yori Dango season 2 episode 10. Just so that's clear! It's my favorite part of the series. With the cookie and asdfjlksadflsadf;; so much crying (and if you don't know that show, GO WATCH IT BECAUSE LOVE AND TEARS AND BOYS)

Chuck’s memory came back piece by piece following the days of his waking. The oldest memories came back first; he remembered his childhood, the shock of losing his mother, the unstable home situation with his father, and then, his terrible years in boarding school. He remembered getting better, joining the rugby team, talking in therapy. He remembered the gala. He remembered being beaten up.

But he didn’t remember Raleigh.

It was as if the events had left a hole in his brain, one shaped like Raleigh, and nobody could explain why.

Raleigh didn’t take it well.

“Maybe he forgot about me because he blames me,” Raleigh said to Yancy. They’d been spending a lot of time in the hospital, Raleigh to stubbornly stay near Chuck, and Yancy to make sure Raleigh actually ate and slept. “Maybe his father is right. Maybe it was my fault,” Raleigh added.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Yancy said, digging in his pockets to find some change, which once found he promptly threw in the soda machine. He pushed the button for a coke and leaned down to fish the can out of the machine. He handed the can to Raleigh and got another one for himself. “The only people who are to blame are those homophobic assholes,” Yancy continued. “At least they managed to arrest most of them.” 

“Only after his dad threatened half the police department,” Raleigh said, opened the can with a hiss and taking a sip. “The school is barely doing anything.” 

They walked back to Chuck’s room. Raleigh took a deep breath, and once Yancy stepped inside, he followed. 

“Hey, Yance,” Chuck said, and then when he noticed Raleigh, “... and what is _he_ doing here.” 

Chuck remembered Yancy, but not him. That got to Raleigh more than anything, considering how he and his brother were practically inseparable. How was it even possible for anyone to know Yancy without knowing him too? 

“I don’t care if he’s your brother, Yance,” Chuck continued. “That guy looks at me funny. He gives me a headache. Get him out of here.” 

Raleigh gritted his teeth. No matter how long it took, he was going to get Chuck to remember. 

“Give him a break,” Yancy said. “He’s worried about you too.” 

“Hmph,” Chuck said, folding his arms across his chest and frowning. 

Raleigh sighed, and walked up to the bed. “I brought you something,” he said, rummaging in his bag. 

Annoyed as he was, Chuck was also bored being stuck in the hospital, so he glared a little less at Raleigh, and seemed curious. “What is it?” 

Raleigh took a sketchbook and some pens and pencils out of his bag. “I figured you’d be bored out of your skull in here, and you like drawing,” Raleigh said, handing the material to Chuck. 

Before he could change back to his cranky expression towards Raleigh, a smile flashed across Chuck’s face. Raleigh made a small victorious gesture behind his back, giving his fist a quick clench. The sketchbook had been a good bet. He wasn’t entirely sure how Chuck would react, given how upset he’d been when Raleigh had found his sketches before, but that had been almost two years ago, and Chuck had worked through that stuff in therapy. Raleigh had caught him doodling when dozing off on his homework. Especially Chuck’s history notes were full of robots and monsters. 

“Thanks,” Chuck mumbled, before returning to his usual scowl. 

Raleigh’s heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t much, but it was something, and he had a little more hope.

  
  
  


\---

  
  


Chuck arrived at the physical therapy room. He was still in a wheelchair, and a nurse had brought him there. The room had a few chairs and exercise equipment scattered around, as well as horizontal bars that lined the walls at approximately hip height. The nurse pushed Chuck into the middle of the room. 

“I’ll come pick you up in half an hour,” she said before leaving the room. “Take it easy, don’t push yourself, okay?” 

The physical therapist approached and reached out his hand to Chuck.

“Chuck? I’m doctor Nichols, but you can call me Jay,” he introduced himself. “We’re going to get you back in top shape in no time.” 

Chuck managed to shake Jay’s hand, and the doctor smiled. “That’s quite a lot of strength you got there,” he said. He continued to hold Chuck’s hand, and gestured towards his arm. “May I?” 

“Uh, sure,” Chuck replied. 

Jay carefully removed the brace from Chuck’s arm and stretched and moved it around carefully. “Can you hold it like this?” Jay said, holding Chuck’s arm almost horizontal at a 90 degree angle from his side. Chuck glanced at his arm. The bruises had turned from red to blue to almost black, and now a sheen of yellow was forming around them. 

Chuck nodded, keeping his arm in position, and Jay began to feel around the muscles and tendons, pressing down at several points. He wasn’t too gentle, and Chuck winced a few times. Then Jay did the same to Chuck’s other arm. 

“Looks good,” Jay said. “No sign of swollen tissue or fluid build-up.” He put the braces back on. 

“I’m going to check your legs now,” Jay said, getting down on one knee. He pushed Chuck’s slacks up to just over his knees and removed the braces from his calves, and proceeded to feel and prod around as he’d done with Chuck’s arms. When Jay’s hands began to examine his thigh muscles Chuck began to feel slightly uncomfortable. There was something familiar about the doctor that he couldn’t place, something about the blonde hair and blue eyes and smile that evoked a reaction in his body that he’d rather not have about someone whose job it was to physically examine him. Chuck blushed and looked away. 

Jay seemed to notice Chuck’s discomfort, and put the braces back on, tugged down Chuck’s slacks and stood back up.

“You’re good to go,” Jay said. “We’re going to start with some light exercises to get the blood flowing, and then if you’re up for it, we can try some light walking.” 

Chuck nodded. He was ready to do just about anything to get out of the wheelchair and start moving and running again. Lying down meant his mind started going in circles. He knew there was something important he couldn’t remember and the harder he tried to think of it, the further away it seemed to go.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“I like this one better,” Raleigh said, holding up a drawing of a robot. It had a circle in its chest and something that looked like wings that curved over its shoulders. 

“I drew that one ages ago,” Chuck said. “This one’s much cooler,” he added, holding up another drawing. That robot had a more triangular chest, with large vertical wings that stretched outwards from its back. 

“Pffft, nah,” Raleigh scoffed. “See, this is like, a nuclear engine,” he pointed at the circle. 

“Yeah, so it can blow up,” Chuck said. “Good luck on your suicide mission, dumbass.” 

Yancy walked in. “Good to see you two are getting along better,” he said with a smile. 

Tendo followed Yancy in. “Hi,” he said, and plucked the drawing from Raleigh’s hand. “Interesting,” he commented. “How do these work?” 

“You got a pilot inside,” Chuck said. “Their brain is linked up to the Jaeger.” 

“Just one pilot?” Tendo said. 

“Yeah,” Chuck replied.   
  
“Hmmm,” Tendo said, eyeing Chuck’s notes next to the drawing. “But says here it’s over 250 feet tall.” 

“So?” Chuck said. 

“So you can’t pilot something that size with one human brain,” Tendo said, grabbing a pencil and scribbling equations on the drawing. “The net voltage would blow out the neural bandwidth. You could place in circuit breakers but then the bot would shut down in the middle of combat. But if you created a bridge between compatible neural networks…” 

Yancy and Raleigh were staring blankly at the two of them. 

“I have no clue what they’re talking about,” Raleigh said. 

“Nerds,” Yancy laughed, fondly. He was a jock, and Tendo spent most of his free time in or around computers. Yancy could lift heavy things, Tendo could hook up their home internet connection. It worked. 

Tendo waved them away. “Why don’t you guys go chase a ball and let the smart people talk,” he said. 

Raleigh laughed. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “Be sure to call us when you need someone to pilot those robots.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Two weeks later, Chuck was still in the hospital. It was the middle of the night, and according to Raleigh’s watch, it was now August 14th. He wasn’t even supposed to be there at that time of night, but he’d snuck around and hid in the bathroom just for this occasion. 

Chuck was asleep, of course. There’d be cake and presents and a bunch of people being obnoxious in his face today, so he was taking all the rest he needed. His room was about as dark as hospital rooms got, which is to say, not very, so Raleigh didn’t have much trouble finding his way to the bed. 

As quietly as he could he took a gift-wrapped package out of his bed, and placed it on the table next to Chuck’s bed. Then he leaned towards Chuck, hovering over him. 

Raleigh hesitated, afraid that Chuck might wake up, but finally, he couldn’t help himself, and placed a soft kiss on Chuck’s lips. 

“Happy Birthday, Chuck,” Raleigh whispered. “Please remember this. Remember me.” 

Raleigh took a deep breath, steeled himself and snuck back out. 

 

 

When Chuck woke up, he found the gift next to his bed. Nobody else had come in yet, and it was still pretty early. He lifted it from the side table with both hands and placed it in front of him. It felt soft to the touch, and unable to contain his curiosity any longer, he tore open the wrappings. 

It was a shirt. Blue colors with red and white accents. The Pacific College’s rugby team shirt. That wasn’t exactly a welcome reminder, and Chuck wondered why anyone would leave it there for him. Was it some kind of joke? If so, it wasn’t funny. 

He unfolded the shirt further, and noticed grass stains on it, and running his fingers across the fabric they weren’t even dried up. This made less and less sense. He turned the shirt around, and there was a white number 9 on it. Rugby league, hooker position. 

_Geez, what the hell? Watch where you’re going, you hulking idiot._  

Chuck shook his head, confused. Where did that come from? It was this tiny flash of memory. And something about sunshine and the smell of the ocean which seemed pretty ridiculous. The shirt smelled like grass, not the beach. 

_Coach Gage is gonna be pissed._

_Rugby’s about getting rough and dirty._

Chuck took a deep breath. It felt like something was itching at the edge of his mind and he couldn’t get to it. He looked at the shirt again. His head was starting to hurt, and this was getting less amusing by the minute. He put the shirt back into its wrapping and crawled back under the covers.


	5. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck's memory has suddenly improved...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: none
> 
> It's here, it's queer, and it's what you've all been waiting for. <3

Chuck hobbled into the physical therapy room on his crutches, and the doctor greeted him with his usual smile.

“Morning, Chuck! You ready to start walking without those?” Jay said.

“Yeah, definitely,” Chuck replied with a slight eyeroll. He was getting quite fed up with being stuck in the hospital. They hadn’t broken any of his bones, but just about bruised and sprained everything else, and it was taking him a long time to recover from the assault.

“Alright,” Jay said, gesturing towards the walking bars in the room. Chuck made his way there, and dropped his crutches one by one as he grabbed hold of the bars. Placing his full weight on his legs still made his knees and back hurt a little, but not as much as before. His arms had healed up a lot faster because they had sustained less damage.

“Okay, now walk back and forth and gradually let go,” Jay said. “Slow, don’t start running just yet,” he added with a smile, when Chuck swung across.

Pretty soon Chuck had fully let go of the bars, only balancing himself with a light touch.

“Looking good!” Jay said. He walked towards Chuck, stopping at about six feet from him. “Try walking towards me.”

“Easy,” Chuck grinned. He felt a lot better today. He took a step forward, and another, and feeling confident, he took bigger, firm steps towards the doctor.

“Chuck! Slow down,” the doctor said, but it was too late. Chuck felt his knee give way and he stumbled forward.

Jay’s arms wrapped around him, catching him mid-fall. A sudden heat coursed through Chuck’s body as the doctor let him go, setting him down on the ground.

“Are you alright?” Jay said, turning around to grab the crutches. When he turned back, Chuck was sitting on the floor, looking away.

“It’s okay,” Jay said. “Remember, you can’t run a marathon just yet. Take it easy, don’t push yourself.” He stretched out a hand towards Chuck. “Come on, let’s get you back up.”

Chuck kept looking away, very aware of the throb in his crotch and his resulting erection.

“Chuck?” Jay said. “What’s wro -- oh.”

He couldn’t be redder in his face if he tried.

Jay smiled and stepped back several feet. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, Chuck,” he said. “You’d be surprised how often this happens to patients in physical therapy. It’s a natural reaction to your body getting back into working order.”

“Whatever,” Chuck mumbled. It wasn’t just because of getting some exercise, he knew. There was something about Jay that made his body react that way. He hoped he wasn’t somehow falling for his doctor, because that would be _weird_. Also, the guy was like thirty years old.

 

 

Once Chuck was back in his room, he found he hadn’t really calmed down at all. His skin felt prickly, and as soon as he’d been left alone in his room, his erection had come right back. Slowly, he reached down under his sheets and wrapped his hand around it.

_Close your eyes, don’t think too much._

He began with long strokes, occasionally thumbing over the tip, where it was the most sensitive, then sliding back down.

_Build it up…_

His hand curved up a little, hitting just the right spot on every stroke.

_Yeah, just like that._

Chuck’s hips were bucking up, thrusting up into his own hand, and he was almost there --

_It’s better when someone you like does it to you._

“Raleigh,” Chuck moaned.

The memories flooded over him as he came.

“Raleigh,” he repeated, his voice shaking.

Raleigh.

 _Raleigh._  

 

  
\--- 

 

  
Raleigh was sitting in their room at the boarding school, trying to study for a test, not being able to concentrate at all.

Whilst Chuck had been in the hospital, things had been pretty messed up at the school. The board had announced some disciplinary measures and had thus far neglected to take any of them. Most of the guys who’d beaten up Chuck were back at school and back in the rugby team, like nothing had happened. The team was a source of income and prestige for the school, and the board of members had voted against kicking out their important players. So Raleigh had quit the team, and he and Yancy were looking for another club to play for. At the school, students stared at him as if it was his fault the rugby team got into trouble, and his popularity had waned. He wanted to get out of there, but most of all, he wanted Chuck back to his former self.

His cellphone - a cheaper model this time, with sturdier glass - vibrated softly on the desk, and he picked it up. There was a text message. From Chuck. And it had only three words.

 _I remember you._  

 

 

\--- 

 

  
Raleigh ran. He ran faster than he’d ever run before, across the school campus, out into the street, past three entire city blocks, through a park, running right into the hospital, where he had to slow down so he wouldn’t run over patients, up the five flights of stairs to the floor Chuck was on, through the hallway, into his room.

He was completely out of breath, his chest hurt, his legs were shaking from the effort, but he was there and Chuck was there and Chuck just looked at him with an all too familiar grin.

“You remember,” Raleigh gasped.

“Wait ‘till I tell you how,” Chuck said, laughing.

“I’m done waiting,” Raleigh replied, and with a few steps he was next to Chuck, cupping his face, running hands through his hair, kissing him with abandon.

And Chuck kissed Raleigh back, fully, hungrily, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. Raleigh’s tongue and lips nipped and swept at Chuck’s mouth, pushing his lips apart, claiming his mouth possessively. When Raleigh came up for air, still gasping from the run, he buried his face in the crook of Chuck’s neck.

“You idiot. Why did you have to forget about me,” Raleigh mumbled. He breathed in, taking in Chuck’s scent, kissing his neck, nipping at his earlobe, scraping his teeth along Chuck’s neck.

Chuck let out a soft chuckle, caressing Raleigh’s hair, rubbing his neck and shoulders.  
There were still bruises on Chuck’s skin, even after over a month, and Raleigh kissed them too, running his tongue along the marks, wishing he could lick them off, taking the pain that had come with them away.

“Make me remember,” Chuck said, arching into Raleigh’s touch. “All of it.”

Raleigh took off his jacket, sweater and shoes, and climbed up on Chuck’s bed about as well as he could, grinding down on him, and groaned as he felt Chuck’s hardness against his own, even through the denim and the blanket.

“I missed you,” Raleigh whispered, and Chuck reached down to undo the buttons and fly on Raleigh’s jeans, then moved his hand to the small of Raleigh’s back, pulling him closer. Chuck captured Raleigh’s mouth again, their tongues intertwining as Raleigh began to tug down his jeans --

 

“ _Ahem_.”

They both looked up, almost bumping their heads together. Tendo was standing at the door, holding his laptop in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“So,” Tendo said, raising an eyebrow. “Chuck remembers.”

Raleigh scrambled off the bed, nearly falling down in the process, pulling up his jeans in a hurry. Chuck just grinned.

“I suppose I should… go call Yancy,” Tendo said. He gazed at the two of them, rolled his eyes. “Then I’ll probably have to go pick him up. It could take a while.”

Raleigh and Chuck looked at each other, then back at Tendo. “Hey, uh--” Raleigh started, but Tendo was already turning around and heading back out.

“Just remember, hospital rooms don’t have a do not disturb sign,” Tendo said, looking back over his shoulder with a grin before closing the door behind him.

 

 

Raleigh’s eyes met Chuck’s again. “He’s right, anyone could come in,” he said, laughing.

“That never stopped us before,” Chuck said with a practically irresistible smirk.

Raleigh walked around the bed and closed the curtain around it. Not that it would make that much of a difference if someone were to come in, but it felt a bit more intimate that way.

“Get back up in here,” Chuck said, reaching out and tugging at Raleigh’s shirt.

“Hold on,” Raleigh said, and undid his jeans again, taking them off this time. Then he raised the blanket Chuck was lying under and climbed right into the bed underneath it.

“Ooh, this is comfortable,” Raleigh grinned, snuggling up to Chuck.

Chuck wrapped his arm around Raleigh, pulling him in closer for a kiss. “I’m sorry I forgot,” he said. “I don’t know why.”

“Doesn’t matter why,” Raleigh said, drawing in Chuck for a longer, slower kiss. He teased and tasted as much of Chuck as he could, somehow afraid he was dreaming this, taking in every little sensation, letting his tongue slip in as far as he could. And Chuck met Raleigh’s kiss with his own need, feeling like he’d finally woken up, craving to take back what he’d previously forgotten.

When Raleigh broke off the kiss, he leaned back. “Can I see?” he said. Chuck knew what he meant, and nodded. “Don’t freak out,” he added.

Chuck reached around his chest and pulled off his shirt, and Raleigh’s breath hitched.

Chuck’s chest was still covered in bruises and scrapes, the soft yellows and darker lines hinting at what must’ve looked much much worse weeks ago. Raleigh felt a mix of anger and worry rise up in his chest and ran his fingers lightly over the skin.

“Goddammit,” Raleigh muttered. “Those bastards have got to pay for what they did to you.”

“I don’t care about that right now,” Chuck said, weaving a hand through Raleigh’s hair. He tugged at Raleigh’s shirt, and took it off as well.

Raleigh trailed kisses across Chuck’s chest, running his tongue over every spot and scar he could find.

His hand reached lower and brushed over Chuck’s hard-on and Chuck groaned, hips bucking up towards Raleigh’s hand.

“Hey,” Raleigh said, kissing back up Chuck’s chest, up to his shoulders and neck. “You said before, something about how you remembered?”

Chuck grinned. “I got a stiffy during physical therapy,” he said.

Raleigh sat back. “What? Don’t tell me the doctor --”

“He didn’t do anything weird,” Chuck interrupted. “It’s just that, he kind of looked like you. And when I fell down…”

Raleigh snorted. “So what you’re saying is, your mind didn’t remember me,” he said, sliding a finger down Chuck’s side, “but your body did, huh?”

“That wasn’t when I got the memory back,” Chuck said with a smirk. “Later, in my room…”

Raleigh put two and two together and burst into laughter, burying his head in Chuck’s shoulder.  
“You jacked off and then thought of me,” Raleigh said. “That’s sort of hot. Also kind of weird, but hot.”

He placed a kiss on Chuck’s neck, and then opened his lips wider, sucking hard on Chuck’s skin. Chuck moaned, and Raleigh sucked even harder, until Chuck felt his skin prickle.

“You’re gonna leave a mark,” Chuck said.

“I know,” Raleigh replied. “I want my marks on your skin, not theirs.”

Raleigh leaned over Chuck and placed his lips at the other side of his neck. His teeth scraped the skin a little, and he bit down softly before sucking hard again. Chuck groaned and tangled his hands into Raleigh’s hair, pushing his head down harder onto his skin.

With the way they were entangled their erections brushed together and Raleigh moaned, grinding towards it. Chuck met his movement, pushing his hips up.

Raleigh’s fingers ran across the edge of Chuck’s slacks and underwear. “Can I…” he started.

“If you don’t I will,” Chuck laughed.

Raleigh hooked his fingers under Chuck’s clothes and began to pull them down, but stopped when they were down to his knees. Chuck’s upper thighs looked even worse than his chest.

Chuck sighed. “Yeah, I know,” he said. “Looks pretty bad, huh.”

“We can’t just let them get away with this,” Raleigh grumbled. “Nobody’s punished them. They’re back on the team like nothing happened, whilst you…”

“Forget about that for now,” Chuck said, and he bucked his hips up towards Raleigh. “Come on.”

There’s no way Raleigh could resist that kind of encouragement. He kissed Chuck’s knee, up his thigh, and licked his lips, slowly parted his mouth.

Then he felt Chuck tug at his hair, jerking him up.

“You don’t want me to--?” Raleigh said, climbing back up, and Chuck shook his head. Instead, he reached a hand to Raleigh’s boxers, pushing them down, and Raleigh took them off. When Chuck grinded towards him, he understood and smiled.

“Oh, like this,” Raleigh said, moving his hips towards Chuck. They both groaned when their erections touched.

Raleigh still had some sense left to remember that Chuck said something about falling down earlier, so he let himself fall to the side, taking his weight off Chuck’s body. Then he snaked a hand around Chuck’s back, grabbed a hold of his buttocks and pulled him back in.

Chuck had his eyes closed, clinging to Raleigh, letting him take control again after Chuck had made clear - in a somewhat roundabout way - what he wanted. Raleigh’s the only one he felt safe with, and he felt ridiculous along with a pile of guilty over the fact that he’d suffered some kind of amnesia, forgetting him. He didn’t want to think about revenge or even getting out of this bed. He wanted Raleigh to grind into him so much he couldn’t think and so he wouldn’t forget ever again.

Raleigh felt Chuck’s hands digging into his arms and back, the way he knew Chuck did when he was allowing himself to let go by anchoring to Raleigh. And right then, Raleigh figured, they’d never quite been together like this either; naked and wrapped entirely around each other under the bed covers. It had always been a lot of making out and jacking off in unusual places, right up until…

Raleigh peeled Chuck off him a little, and Chuck opened his eyes. He was blushing intensely, and rather than saying anything he just whimpered and grinded towards Raleigh again.

“Hey,” Raleigh said, his hand moving up to cup Chuck’s face, making eye contact. “I, uh…” he stammered.

This was proving more difficult to say than he’d anticipated.

“Uh, so… you know I love you, right?” Raleigh finished.

Chuck blushed even more fiercely, and at that moment, he wanted to say the same words but found he couldn’t, like something wasn’t working between his brain and whatever made him speak. He did love Raleigh, he knew that, he had right away, with all that sunshine and smelling like the ocean nonsense. But he couldn’t say it. Like the words were too big, meant too much, made him too vulnerable.

Raleigh saw Chuck struggle with it, so he leaned forward and kissed him.

Chuck clung to him again. “Me too,” he mumbled. Raleigh smiled, and shifted his position a little, slowly grinding towards Chuck again.

Raleigh’s hand wrapped around both of them, keeping them together, stroking as they continued to slide against each other.

Soon enough Chuck was moaning and squirming in Raleigh’s arms, and Raleigh knew he was close as well.

“Just let go,” Raleigh whispered hoarsely, rubbing them to climax. “I’m right here.”

Chuck’s fingers dug into Raleigh’s shoulders, and he whimpered and groaned, spilling himself, shuddering in Raleigh’s arms as the tension left him, and Raleigh came as well, grinding into the slick mess between them.

 

 

\---

 

 

It had taken them some time to clean up, and Raleigh thanked whoever designed the hospital that there was a bathroom with shower inside the room itself. He was slightly puzzled why nobody had come in to check up on them, though he certainly didn’t regret the lack of interruption.

Chuck really didn’t like showering together for reasons Raleigh understood better than anyone. The couple of times they’d gotten off in the shower in their dorm room it had been with most clothes still on and the water off. Chuck had assured him that he didn’t need help, it’s not like crutches weren’t waterproof, so Raleigh had taken it upon himself to change the sheets after he’d found fresh ones in a closet in the room.

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

“You guys done or what?” Yancy called out.

Raleigh dropped the sheets and walked to the door. “Uh… yeah?” he ventured.

The door opened to Yancy standing there with a stupid grin and Tendo rolling his eyes.

“You’re unbelievable,” Yancy said, clasping Raleigh’s shoulder. “In the hospital? Really? I’m expecting a few hundred game credits in gratitude. No, make that a few thousand.”

Very slowly, it began to dawn on Raleigh, and Yancy and Tendo patiently waited until he’d figured it out.

“You two _guarded the door!?_ ” Raleigh exclaimed.

“The things I do for my dear brother,” Yancy said, theatrically placing the back of hand against his forehead.

Raleigh facepalmed. “Seriously…”

“So hey, it’s good news, right? You and Chuck are back together,” Yancy said, landing a playful punch on Raleigh’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Raleigh said, grinning.

“There’s also some bad news, though,” Tendo said. “Or good, depending on your interpretation,” he added when he saw Raleigh visibly slump. “Officially, principal Hale wants to talk to you and Chuck.”

“Unofficially?” Raleigh inquired.

Tendo fished a folded paper out of his bag and handed it to Raleigh. “Unofficially I’ve intercepted an email conversation that discusses the viability of you and Chuck graduating early,” Tendo said.

Raleigh quickly scanned the printed out emails. “Wow, what a load of bullshit,” he muttered. But then he grinned. “I gotta show this to Chuck.”

Raleigh spun around and went back into the room, Yancy and Tendo following him.

Chuck had just gotten out of the shower and was making his way towards the door, bathrobe and crutches and all.

“Hey, congrats, Chuck,” Yancy said, with a big obvious wink. Tendo rolled his eyes again.

“Uh…?” Chuck said.

“They were guarding the door, but never mind that, read this,” Raleigh said in one breath, shoving the email into Chuck’s hand.

Chuck’s expression went from confusion to elation as he read through the document. “Is this for real?” he said.

“One hundred percent for real from Hale’s hacked email account,” Tendo replied.

Chuck looked at Raleigh. “You know what this means?” Chuck said, smiling.

Raleigh nodded and grinned.

“We’re getting out of that shitty excuse for a school!” Chuck cheered, and dropped one crutch, pulled Raleigh in for an embrace and kissed him.

His bathrobe fell open, and Chuck definitely wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

“Er, guys,” Tendo said. Yancy just laughed.

Raleigh and Chuck didn’t even notice them being in the room anymore.


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slice of home life with Yancy and Tendo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: none
> 
> It's tiiiime for an ~interlude~! (Which is a fancy way of saying oops I accidentally wrote a Yancy/Tendo thing here you go) 
> 
> Next chapter is all Chuck and Raleigh, I swear.
> 
> The domestic/porn theme may have been slightly influenced by [achilleees](http://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleees/pseuds/achilleees)' insanely hot [porn roommates AU](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1002439) which I have read at least fifty times this week <3

Tendo and Yancy have been living together for a few months now, and they’ve settled into a daily routine that works best for both of them. After Tendo turned dinner into charred husks barely recognisable as food several times because he was in the middle of debugging some code, Yancy took over cooking. After Yancy managed to blow out almost every fuse in the apartment trying to plug in their fridge and almost threw the modem out of the window trying to get their internet connection to work, Tendo takes care of electronics. When left unattended, Tendo’s clothes pile up to the ceiling in one specific corner of the bedroom, so Yancy does laundry. And if Tendo didn’t come up with a grocery plan for each week and leave it up to Yancy, they’d have nothing but pizza, ketchup and milk in the fridge.

 

Yancy’s gotten himself a rugby scholarship with Sydney U, and Tendo’s in UTS, aiming for a Computer Science degree. Yancy drags himself out of bed at 6 am every day hating everything in the world, especially the sadistic bastard who sets up rugby practice first thing in the morning, and Tendo’s hours are beyond human comprehension so sometimes in the morning Yancy still finds him tapping away on his laptop with a mug of coffee that’s been refilled at least five times, and sometimes he could put on the loudest dubstep and Tendo still wouldn’t wake up before noon.

 

Today, Yancy’s home early. First thing he does is what he always does when he comes home: take off his bag, shoes, jacket, then the rest of his clothes, gathering them into a ball which he proceeds to dunk into the laundry basket, and walks straight into the shower, not even caring if it’s cold at first. Tendo is probably awake, since he does care about eating dinner at a decent hour.

 

When Yancy gets out of the shower, he finds Tendo sitting at his desk, one leg tucked underneath the other, typing away.

 

“Hey,” Yancy says.

 

Tendo briefly glances back, mumbles a ‘hey’ back and turns his focus back to the screen.

 

Yancy’s used to having to pull Tendo away from the screen a bit, so he walks up to him. Doesn’t lean over and looks at the display, because Tendo _hates_ that. Instead he positions himself behind the screen, in front of Tendo.

 

“Whatcha doing?” Yancy asks.

 

Tendo blinks a few times, then looks up. “Trying to decode the invite key algorithm for gay downloads dot com,” he says with a perfectly straight face.

 

Yancy bursts into laughter. “Because you can never have too much porn,” he says, well aware of the digital collection Tendo’s acquired over the years. Yancy doesn’t mind. The videos are pretty hot and most of the time they’re watching them together, and they usually have a happy ending. Both for them and the guys on film.

 

“There’s a new Romeo Blue video out today,” Tendo says. “Ah, I got it,” he adds after a few seconds.  He continues to type away.

 

Tendo’s still focused on the screen, but Yancy’s got a different idea. He gets on his knees and crawls under the desk. Tendo glances at him, raises an eyebrow, doesn’t say anything. Once Yancy’s got his face between Tendo’s knees he looks up and Tendo is still looking at the screen, but Yancy can tell by the little twitch at the corners of his mouth that Tendo’s playing along. Yancy grins.

 

“Have you put the video on yet?” he asks.

 

“Yeah,” Tendo replies.

 

“Good,” Yancy says, and begins to work on the buttons and zipper of Tendo’s trousers.

 

Tendo’s not hard yet, but as Yancy’s hands reach inside his pants and begin to fondle him through the fabric of his boxers, that quickly changes.

 

“How’s the video?” Yancy asks. “What are they doing?”

 

“They’ve undressed,” Tendo answers. “Jayden's down on his knees, grabbing Austin’s dick--”

 

Tendo groans as Yancy does the same to him, but he’s trying to not give Yancy the satisfaction of him squirming in his seat.

 

“And?” Yancy says, moving his hand over Tendo’s cock with long, firm strokes, applying more pressure at the end, the way he knows Tendo loves it.

 

Tendo’s breathing is getting ragged, and he’s definitely hard now, but he’s still not budging, continuing to stare at the screen.

 

“Jayden's… sucking off Austin,” Tendo continues, and a second later Yancy’s warm, wet mouth envelops him.

 

Tendo bites his lip, Yancy hears him gasp. Yancy does that thing with his tongue, flicking it around the tip, sucking hard whilst his hands work at the base and massage the tender skin around Tendo’s balls.

 

Tendo’s gaze momentarily flits down, then back at the screen. His hand weaves into Yancy’s hair, pushing him down, and Tendo groans as Yancy takes him in deeper.

 

Yancy pulls off. “What are they doing now?” he asks, grinning.

 

“Fucking,” Tendo sighs.

 

Yancy hooks his arms under Tendo’s knees, his hands grabbing Tendo’s ass, and lifts him right up, knocking back the desk chair. Tendo manages to hit pause on the video just in time, and then his arms wrap around Yancy, kisses him hungrily.

 

Yancy’s smiling through the kiss. “Let’s get to it, then,” Yancy says, carrying Tendo towards the bedroom, his hands already in the back of Tendo’s pants, digging into his cheeks.

 

Tendo wraps his legs tighter around Yancy’s waist, grinding up against him. “Yeah, let’s fuck,” he mumbles.

 

Their relationship is not one of subtlety, and they like it that way.

 


	7. Study

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: none
> 
> Chuck and Raleigh go clubbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Club Babylon-inspired 100% Chaleigh smut. X3

The low vibration of the bass hums in Chuck’s body, all the way through his bones. Fog and stroboscopic lights turn his surroundings into an abstract blur of colorful, jaggedly moving bodies, none of which he recognises. Raleigh’s hands are on his hips, Raleigh’s breath is on his ear, whispering all kinds of dirty nothings that no-one else can hear, and Raleigh’s grinding against him. They’re not even bad dancers.

 

All in all, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea after all to go clubbing to celebrate their newfound independence. They had their diplomas, they’d found a small apartment they could afford with their new jobs - Chuck’s doing data entry, Raleigh works in construction - and hey, they could legally pretty much do anything that was legal.

 

No drinks, though. Chuck was staying far away from beer and anything else alcoholic after the incident, and Raleigh didn’t care for it, seeing as he was perfectly able to get down without being inebriated. And not having alcohol coursing through his body meant he could get it up, too.

 

Clubbing seemed like the strangest idea ever to Chuck. But he’d grown up pretty sheltered and rather devoid of fun and Raleigh had joined Yancy and Tendo a couple of times when they went out, and they had a good time, and Raleigh wanted Chuck along.

 

When the bouncer let them in just like that, Chuck had seriously asked if they weren’t supposed to wait in line. Raleigh had cracked up. The bouncer had winked at him. Some guy behind him had asked him if he’s looked in the mirror lately.

 

Raleigh’s used to being popular, but Chuck’s just used to people laughing at him and beating him up. That’s where Raleigh figures that maybe it _was_ a bad idea to go clubbing because the dancefloor responds to Chuck like lions to fresh innocent prey. So Raleigh stays close, possessively clamps his hands down on Chuck’s hips and gives everyone who dares to make eyes at Chuck the ‘back off, he’s mine’ glare.

 

Chuck is thankfully completely oblivious to all the positive attention, it’s all bouncing off his keeping-people-out shield, and only Raleigh is allowed to get close.

 

Chuck turns his head towards Raleigh. “I gotta go take a leak,” he mumbles.

 

Raleigh nods, grabs Chuck’s hand and tugs him along through the crowd. No way he’s letting Chuck wander towards the bathroom on his own. Because in this club ‘bathroom’ might as well mean ‘cruising space’, and yeah, as they make their way there, the hallways are crowded with guys in various stages of undress and Chuck’s pretty sure that there’s at least one guy getting a blowjob. It’s kind of hot but most of his mind is going _what the hell is this place._

 

He’s about to unzip at the urinal when Raleigh shoves him into a stall and then proceeds to stand in front of the door.

 

“What, I can’t even piss at the urinal?” Chuck asks from the stall, doing his business. “I think you’re overreacting.”

 

“I’m not,” Raleigh says, keeping a keen eye on their surroundings. “You don’t understand.”

 

Chuck opens the stall door, frowning. “Then explain,” he says.

 

Raleigh sighs, and pushes Chuck back in the stall. He’s not going to have that conversation where everyone can see them.

 

“You don’t see the way these guys are looking at you,” Raleigh hisses.

 

“And what way is that?” Chuck argues, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. Raleigh being all jealous and possessive is kinda hot up to a certain point, and directing where Chuck should urinate is definitely way past that point.

 

“Like they’re going to eat you alive,” Raleigh says.

 

That just gets him an _are-you-serious_ look from Chuck. In part because he doesn’t really think he’s _that_ attractive, and also because he is not some frail thing who needs protecting.

 

“And you think I can’t take care of ‘em myself?” Chuck says, reminding Raleigh of the fact that he can by clenching his fists, which causes the muscles in his arms to subtly ripple from bottom to top. Which looks quite nice in the black tight sleeveless shirt Chuck’s wearing, Raleigh notes.

 

Raleigh runs a hand through his hair, frowns in thought. Yeah, maybe he is being overly protective. Chuck should be able to take care of himself. He’s a big guy, bigger than him, still, though Raleigh is beefing up quickly working in construction. But he can’t shake it, this image of Chuck lying broken, beaten down and bloody on the floor of the parking lot.

 

Raleigh’s expression softens. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I just… can’t stand the thought of someone hurting you again.”

 

Chuck shakes his head, still frowning, unfolds his arms. “You won’t be able to protect me from everyone,” he says, cupping Raleigh’s jaw with one hand. “And you shouldn’t try to, okay?”

 

Raleigh sighs, grabs Chuck’s hand and kisses his palm. “Okay,” he says.

 

“Good,” Chuck says. He places his hands on Raleigh’s hips and pulls him close, kisses his shoulder and neck and jaw, up to his mouth. Raleigh smiles against his lips, and parts them, sucking Chuck’s tongue inside, and rubs against it with his own.

 

Outside the stall the thumping of the bass continues, the low frequency wave sending a thrill through everyone’s bodies in a steady rhythm. They hear a groan coming from the stall next to them, see shadows move on the floor. Chuck lets out a soft chuckle. A few minutes ago he was ready to leave, with Raleigh acting like an ass, but now he’s changed his mind.

 

He captures Raleigh’s mouth with his own again, letting his tongue explore, pressing and nipping at Raleigh’s lips until they look red and curve up in that delicious smile.

 

Chuck’s hands slide underneath Raleigh’s shirt and up, fingers digging into his skin. Raleigh’s firmer these days, and Chuck loves the feel of hard muscle underneath his fingertips, wants to bite down on those curves. Raleigh's got the same idea and Chuck groans when Raleigh’s teeth scrape lightly across his neck.

 

Then Raleigh’s hands begin to work at the button and zipper of Chuck’s pants, and Chuck pulls them off. “Nuh-uh,” he says, shaking his head with a grin. Raleigh looks puzzled, smiles, curious what Chuck is planning.

 

“My turn,” Chuck says, swiftly undoing Raleigh’s trousers. He kisses Raleigh again, agonizingly slow and deep, whilst his hands slide into Raleigh’s boxers, pushing them down inch by inch. When he’s freed Raleigh’s dick, Chuck drops to his knees, and looks up at Raleigh, licking his lips.

 

“Chuck…” Raleigh says, his voice already gritty.

 

“Can I use my mouth on you?” Chuck asks, in the same tone that Raleigh did the first time in the school bathroom and they both laugh, because that was only half a year ago and they’re so different now. Bigger for one, Chuck considers, his gaze drifting across Raleigh’s dick.

 

Whilst Raleigh’s still laughing Chuck licks a long stripe from Raleigh’s scrotum up to the tip and the laugh turns into a loud moan and Raleigh’s head knocks back against the thin wall.

 

Chuck’s tongue is maddening. He explores every inch of skin, every fold and vein, occasionally flicking across the tip, just enough to drive Raleigh a little further every time until he's squirming. When Raleigh’s hands wander into Chuck’s hair to give him direction, Chuck pulls them away and pins them against Raleigh’s own thighs.

 

"Please," Raleigh begs. Chuck sits back a little and looks up, making eye contact with Raleigh and not breaking it, he wraps a hand around Raleigh’s cock and slowly guides it into his mouth.

 

The sight of his length slowly sliding into Chuck’s mouth whilst Chuck gazes at him, eyes darkened by desire, is almost too much. Raleigh’s hips thrust up, aching for release, and his hands trash against Chuck’s returned grip on them, wanting to take control.

 

But Chuck’s grip is tight and Raleigh has to surrender to the pace that Chuck sets for him. Which is almost painfully slow, and Raleigh isn’t even aware anymore of how much he is groaning and whimpering. The tip is so swollen and sensitive now that the lightest flick of Chuck’s tongue makes him spasm.

 

“Fuck, oh god, _please_ ,” Raleigh whimpers, hips bucking up towards Chuck over and over.

 

Then, content with having teased Raleigh enough, Chuck takes him in as deep as he can, gagging, and sucks hard.

 

Raleigh cries out, his entire body tensing up, coming so hard into Chuck’s mouth his vision blanks out.

 

And before the wave can subside, there’s pressure of Chuck swallowing his come and Chuck’s hand tightening around the base, pushing upwards, and Raleigh slams himself against the wall so hard it almost cracks, spasming and still coming.

 

Finally, Chuck pulls off, swallowing again, and Raleigh sags to the floor.

 

“Jesus, Chuck,” Raleigh mumbles. “Where did you even…” He was gonna ask where Chuck learned how to do that but gets lost in a train of thought when he remembers he had to teach Chuck how to jack off and he looks up at this guy in front of him who is impossibly good at sucking off for a first-timer, and it just doesn’t make sense.

 

“How…?” Raleigh mutters.

 

Chuck gets down on one knee, picks Raleigh up, and laughs. “Study,” Chuck replies, though it wasn’t much of a question he got.

 

“You _studied_ for…?” Raleigh manages, and somehow he’s really bad at finishing sentences now.

 

“I wanted to make sure it was good,” Chuck argues.

 

Shit, he _would_ study, wouldn’t he? Because he’s Chuck, and he doesn’t half-ass anything, and he wants to take pride in everything he does, so of course he’s going to search the internet and hell knows what else on how to give the best blowjobs.

 

Raleigh shakes his head. “Well it was fucking amazing,” he mumbles, and then pulls Chuck in for a kiss. Then pulls a face.

 

“I swallowed and _you_ think it’s gross?” Chuck laughs.

  
“Oh, shut up,” Raleigh says, and kisses him again, taste be damned.


	8. Let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chuck is struggling with big life decisions and strong emotions, and Raleigh just wants Chuck to let him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Archive warnings: ... dangerous amounts of fluff
> 
> There's a first time for everything. <3

Raleigh’s fallen asleep on the sofa when Chuck comes home at night. The TV shuts itself down after a while and the sun went down so the living room is almost entirely dark, and Chuck figures Raleigh’s gone to bed. He gets inside as quietly as possible, puts his keys on the table near the door, and is in the middle of taking off his shoes when the lights go on and he startles so much he nearly falls over.

 

“You’re home late,” Raleigh says, his voice still thick and sleepy. He rubs his eyes, brushes his hair back with a hand and yawns.

 

“Yeah,” Chuck says, putting his shoes under the table and hanging his leather jacket on a chair.

 

“How’d try-outs go?” Raleigh inquires. But when he looks up at Chuck, he doesn’t really need an answer.

 

Chuck shakes his head, grits his teeth.

 

“That bad, huh,” Raleigh says. “I’m sorry, babe.” He climbs off the couch and saunters to Chuck, wraps his arms around him.

 

The hug is supposed to be comforting but Raleigh seems to fall asleep just leaning into Chuck. It’s odd, because from what Chuck can remember, Yancy’s the narcoleptic one of the Becket brothers.

 

“Hey, Ray,” Chuck says, poking at his partner. “Why are you so sleepy?”

 

“Long day,” Raleigh mumbles, nuzzling Chuck’s shoulder.

 

“Oh yeah, you had job training this morning,” Chuck says. “That lasted all day?”

 

Raleigh just nods against Chuck’s shoulder. Chuck sighs. “Let’s just go to bed, talk in the morning, yeah?”

 

Raleigh mumbles something vaguely approximating ‘sure’, and Chuck carries him off to their bed.

 

\---

 

It’s happy news for Raleigh, but he’s not sure how Chuck is going to take it.

 

“I’ve got a team,” he says during dinner. “Yancy’s put in a good word for me with the Blue Dangers up north.”

 

It’s quiet, for a long time. Chuck puts down his fork and is kind of staring at his plate.

 

“You’ve had try-outs yet?” Chuck finally says, looking up.

 

“Yeah, two weeks ago,” Raleigh replies. His brow furrows in an expression of sympathy and concern.

 

Chuck does the math.

 

“You didn’t mention them,” he manages to say. The tone of his voice has a hurt timbre to it. He swallows it, bites it back. “That’s good news, I’m happy for you.” Chuck figures he should probably feel happier about it than he does.

 

\---

 

It’s almost summer, and Chuck still hasn’t found a club to play for. He’s become somewhat infamous after the incident at the boarding school, a _persona non grata_ in the Sydney rugby network, apparently. He’s training with Yancy and Raleigh if they can spare the time, but it’s not much, and it’s not enough to keep his skills up to par.

 

One day over coffee, Chuck blurts out, “I think I’m going to quit rugby.”

 

Raleigh nearly chokes on his drink - moccachino with an extra shot of espresso - and eyes Chuck suspiciously, not sure if he’s joking or not.

 

“But you’re an excellent player,” Raleigh argues. “You’re talented, you…”

 

“Listen,” Chuck says. “You got me in the game, and it’s great, but it was never my shtick to begin with, so…”

 

Raleigh doesn’t really know what to say to that. He and Yancy are going for the long haul, ever since they were kids, they knew they wanted to be pros. He’s been playing for the Dangers for over a month and it was tough to get back into the schedule but he’s catching up fast. They’re in a lower league but not scraping the barrel, and they’re preparing for next year’s round of tournaments. If he can profile himself during the matches, trainers from higher leagues might take notice. And if the team gets enough points from wins, they might move up a rank. He’s got it figured out.

 

Then there’s Yancy, who’s still with the university league, which is fun and all but not at the same level. Yancy’s got a taste of uni life and is taking classes in psychology and criminology on the side, which Raleigh never figured was his thing, but he also figured rugby was Chuck’s thing and apparently he was wrong about that too.

 

“First Yancy, now you?” Raleigh says before he can catch himself. Chuck glares.

 

“Sorry,” Raleigh offers.

 

"My manager says I'm doing well," Chuck says. "I might be able to move up to testing."

 

That's good news, in some ways. It means Chuck will make more money. But it takes him further away from rugby. In Raleigh’s mind a vision of corporate life takes shape, Chuck in a suit, sitting at long dull meetings, buying a home trainer, flipping channels, driving a lease car, getting upset about the font on his business cards and reading the stocks page in the newspaper and sucking up to some higher-up jackasses and Raleigh slams his coffee down on the table.

 

People around them stare. “Sir?" a waiter comes over to ask.

 

"Fuck that," Raleigh hisses, standing up. “You’re better than that."

 

And he storms off.

 

When Chuck gets home later that day, he finds Raleigh isn’t there. Their argument doesn’t sit well with him at all. It’s not the first time they’ve had an argument, but this one feels different, like the stakes are higher, and it’s upsetting him. Nervously, Chuck starts doing things to keep his mind busy, which ends with him on his knees scrubbing the bathroom tiles until he can see his own reflection. When he sets his mind to something, he’ll get it done to absolute perfection or it’s not worth the effort, he reckons.

 

When Raleigh gets home he finds Chuck still scrubbing, wearing old clothes and smelling like lemon and bleach, a bucket of cleaning supplies next to him. Raleigh sighs and squats down next to Chuck.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says, well aware how Chuck reacts to stress. Which is why he’s all the more worried about Chuck giving up rugby.

 

Chuck’s red in the face from all the work and frowns at Raleigh. He’s upset, about all sorts of things, about more than just their argument at the coffee house. Chuck’s upset about not being able to get into a rugby club, about not knowing what to do with his life, about how for all those years he just wanted to get out of that boarding school and now that he is he doesn’t know what to do with himself, and how Raleigh is the only constant he’s got, and how he doesn’t know what to do if he loses Raleigh too, and now he doesn’t want to be alone again but he still doesn’t quite know how not to be without Raleigh.

 

So Chuck’s fist squeezes down on the sponge he’s holding until his knuckles turn white and his shoulders shake, but he’s not saying a word. Not even with Raleigh’s big blue eyes and concerned expression in front of him, Raleigh’s hand caressing his hair. He feels like Raleigh is  treating him like a child and that gets to him because that’s exactly how he feels, a child, wanting to stomp and cry and run away. And they’ve been playing house the past few months but he’s still a teenager, who had to get by on his own for so long, and doesn’t even want to make all these big life decisions. Chuck’s lip begins to tremble, and he sinks his teeth in them to make it stop.

 

“I’m sorry,” Raleigh repeats, wrapping his arms around Chuck.

 

Chuck’s eyes begin to sting and he tells himself it’s the irritation from the cleaning products. Raleigh’s making him feel vulnerable and open and all he wants to do now is shut everything out, so his hands splay out against Raleigh’s chest, trying to push him away.

 

Raleigh keeps holding him, because Chuck’s temper never scared him off before and it won’t now.

 

“Let go,” Raleigh says. “I’m not going anywhere. You can trust me.” They’re the same words he used back in school, whenever Chuck made it to their room fuming and shaking, slamming doors, red in the face and glaring at him.

 

Chuck’s hands dig into his shirt, clinging, not sure whether to push away or pull close, and Chuck buries his head in the crook of Raleigh’s shoulder.

 

“Fuck,” he mumbles, feelings his eyes burn, feeling like an immature idiot, feeling so vulnerable it physically hurts.

 

Raleigh’s arms tighten around him.

 

\---

 

After that evening, a new ache takes hold in Raleigh, starting out dull but increasing by the day. There was something about Chuck then that he couldn’t stop thinking about; the reddish face, the tugging and pushing, the way he’d felt Chuck’s stress dissipate as Chuck shook in his arms.

 

Pretty soon, Raleigh realizes what’s going on, and sure, they’ve both thought and talked about it, but never went that far. Not yet. Maybe because they both weren’t ready and figured that at some point that would change and _then_ they’d deal with it.

 

Well, Raleigh felt very very ready now.

 

Unlike Chuck, Raleigh pretty much blurts out whatever he feels right away, so one night when they’re going to bed, as Chuck climbs under the covers, there it is.

 

“I want to have sex,” Raleigh says.

 

“Uh, sure, me too?” Chuck replies. Usually if Raleigh feels that way he just starts putting on the moves and grinding against him and hell, most of the time Chuck responds in kind because he’s young, virile and hot for his boyfriend. In Chuck’s book blowjobs and grinding against each other naked definitely count as sex, so why Raleigh feels the need to announce it this time, he has no idea.

 

“No, I mean, all the way,” Raleigh continues.

 

Oh, that’s what he’s talking about. … _Oh_.

 

A nervous, hot shiver courses through Chuck’s body, and damn if a certain part of his body doesn’t respond immediately to Raleigh’s suggestion.

 

“Um, oh,” Chuck manages to say, feeling the blush on his face spread lower.

 

“Do you want to?” Raleigh inquires, eyes wide open and honest. He doesn’t want to pressure Chuck in anything, no matter how hot the mental image of pushing Chuck down and making him blush and cry out is -- and now that he’s thinking about that his own body flushes from head to toe.

 

Similar images are going through Chuck’s mind, with similar effects, and yeah, he might not feel the same urgent need that Raleigh has right now but he definitely wants to.

 

“Yeah,” Chuck replies, the confusion on his face vanishing and turning into a smile.

 

Raleigh returns his smile and reaches out to Chuck, pulling him in for a kiss. And Raleigh wants to start off slow but now that they’re both on the same page the slow kisses quickly become hard, deep, hungry kisses, their hands grappling and groping at whatever skin they can find, their bodies arching into each other.

 

Soon they are in their familiar grind again, their hands pulling at their shorts so desperately their feet get entangled and they are laughing against each other’s lips. Raleigh manages to tear himself away from Chuck long enough to throw the bed covers on the floor, because he wants to see all of him, and it was getting ridiculously hot under there anyway.

 

Raleigh turns back, kisses Chuck again, kissing his jaw and neck and shoulders and moves lower, licking and sucking and biting at the skin underneath, his fingers scraping down across Chuck’s sides.

 

Chuck’s body responds readily to Raleigh’s desire, squirming and shivering, and Raleigh feels Chuck’s fingers dig into his shoulders and smiles. Chuck is surrendering again and it always gives him so much pleasure to just get Chuck to that point, to make him feel it so much he drops all of his guards, even the ones he’s not aware of.

 

Raleigh snakes down, leaving a trail of kisses and licks across Chuck’s chest. He nips and sucks at Chuck’s lower abs, Chuck’s hard-on pressing against his cheek, but Raleigh resists and instead softly sinks his teeth into that lovely curve of muscle between Chuck’s thighs and abs.

 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Raleigh says, his gaze flitting up, and Chuck has his head thrown back into the pillow and is just moaning and panting, waiting for Raleigh to give him more.

 

Raleigh smiles, and not delaying any further, parts his lips and takes Chuck into his mouth, deep and all at once, and Chuck lets out a low groan, his hips jerking up.

 

Raleigh sets a steady pace, his hands working around the base and balls, petting and stroking. Chuck’s hands weave into Raleigh’s hair, pushing his head further down.

 

Now Raleigh hasn’t studied as much as Chuck, but he does have a fair idea about where to take it next. He lets Chuck slide out of his mouth, giving the tip a last lick that makes Chuck whimper, and climbs back up, pulling Chuck in for a long, deep kiss.

 

Chuck’s eyes are all heavy-lidded, his lips slightly parted, and he’s softly panting, hands resting on Raleigh’s side.

 

Raleigh trails kisses across Chuck’s neck, licks a stripe up to his ear, and Chuck shivers in response.

 

“You’re unbelievably sexy,” Raleigh whispers, grinding his hips into Chuck, who gasps as their dicks brush against each other.

 

“I want you so badly,” Raleigh continues, his hands caressing Chuck’s back, and he traces Chuck’s spine from top to bottom with a finger, then firmly grasps Chuck’s ass with one hand.

 

Raleigh rolls back a little so Chuck is halfway on top of him, and he can get his other hand around. He grinds up into Chuck, and both his hands dig into Chuck’s buttocks, tugging them apart.

 

That’s when Chuck freezes up. His entire body stiffens against Raleigh, he sucks in his breath and shivers.

 

“Please,” Chuck says, his voice shaking. “No. Let me go.”

 

Raleigh lets go instantly, and Chuck backs away to the edge of the bed, looking at Raleigh, completely terrified. He grabs a pillow and wraps his arms around it, shielding himself.

 

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Raleigh asks.

 

Chuck just shakes his head. “No, don’t,” he stammers.

 

Then Raleigh makes the connection.

 

“Shit,” he says. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry.”

 

But Chuck’s still back in the communal showers with Scott holding him down.

 

Raleigh’s thoughts are racing, unsure of how to comfort Chuck, how to snap him out of it, and when he reaches out Chuck flinches and pulls back further.

 

Raleigh takes a deep breath and lets it out. He needs to get through to Chuck. If they stop now, Chuck might shy away from sex forever, too scared to try again. But he’s not going to push him. Instead, he’ll let Chuck come to him.

 

“It’s okay,” Raleigh says. “We don’t have to do it that way.”

 

He lies back, and lifts up his legs. He wraps his lips around his index finger and coats it with saliva, then reaches down, and presses it inside himself.

 

Chuck snaps out of it.

 

“Raleigh,” he says, his voice still trembling. He’s back, in their bedroom, the flashback quickly fading from his mind.

 

Chuck lets go of the pillow, and slowly crawls back towards Raleigh, the heat returning to his body. Chuck is fascinated, the way Raleigh is laying there, legs splayed, open and welcoming, getting himself ready for Chuck.

 

“I want you,” Raleigh sighs, pushing his finger in deeper, angling his hips up so Chuck can see better. “In every way.”

 

He stretches out his free arm towards Chuck, and Chuck takes it, his hand seeking Raleigh’s, their fingers intertwining. He moves closer towards Raleigh, sits between his raised legs, gazing down.

 

“Raleigh...” Chuck repeats. He’s enraptured by Raleigh, subconsciously biting his lip as he watches Raleigh finger himself, the digit sliding in and out. And where the fear and panic had made him soft, he is growing hard so fast it’s making his head spin.

 

Raleigh tugs Chuck’s hand lower, pushes Chuck’s fingers against his taint, dragging them down until they press against his entrance.

 

“Help me out,” Raleigh says, laughing, grinding towards Chuck’s digits.

 

Chuck licks his lips, and then pushes his middle finger inside. “Whoa, it’s so hot,” Chuck says. “And tight.”

 

Raleigh hisses and slides out his own finger.

 

“Two is too much?” Chuck asks.

 

“A bit,” Raleigh pants. “You’ll have to loosen me up more first.”

 

Chuck grins. “No problem. I studied for this, too.”

 

“Of course you did,” Raleigh laughs, then groans as Chuck slides his digit in further.

 

Chuck hooks his finger upwards. “It should be here somewhere…” he mumbles, concentrating.

 

“What should be where?” Raleigh says. “I don’t feel anyth-- _nnnnhh_! ” His words turn into a loud moan and his hips buck up involuntarily. “Oh fuck what _was_ that,” Raleigh hisses, squirming on Chuck’s hand.

 

“Your prostate,” Chuck smiles. The spot feels like a slightly harder bump of tissue against his fingertip, and he softly brushes over it again.

 

Raleigh makes a noise that’s somewhere between a groan and a cry and squirms.

 

“What does it feel like?” Chuck says, placing his free hand on Raleigh’s hip to hold him in place.

 

“I, I don’t know,” Raleigh stutters. “ _Really_ really good, don’t stop...”

 

Chuck experimentally pushes his finger down hard on the spot and Raleigh cries out. “Oh god, you’re gonna make me come,” he whimpers, grinding his hips down on Chuck’s hand.

 

“That’s fine,” Chuck says, grinning, and rolls his finger in a circular motion against the sensitive gland.

 

Raleigh lets out a moan that’s almost a sob, his hips jerking up. “Oh _god_ ," Raleigh groans, his hands clenching into the sheets, and he comes, his seed spilling onto his stomach.

 

Chuck leans forward and sucks Raleigh’s dick into his mouth, lapping up the cum, and Raleigh lets out another high-pitched moan. Chuck lets off, and licks the rest up from Raleigh’s stomach. Then he climbs up, keeping his finger inside, and kisses Raleigh, open-mouth and tongue.

 

And Raleigh, bliss still coursing through him, laughs against Chuck’s lips because his cum is still inside Chuck’s mouth, and he doesn’t like the taste much, and Chuck knows that, so he’s making a point. Usually Raleigh is the possessive one but now Chuck wants to let Raleigh know the taste in his mouth is Chuck’s doing.

 

Raleigh reaches down and wraps his hand around Chuck’s dick, pumping it fast, and Chuck groans against Raleigh’s lips.

 

Raleigh lifts his legs up higher. “Prepare me faster,” he demands. “I want you inside.”

 

Chuck laughs. “Your wish is my command,” he grins. “Do you have lube?”

 

“Bottom drawer,” Raleigh replies, nodding towards the night stand.

 

Chuck has to pull out his finger to reach and Raleigh makes a small disgruntled noise that makes Chuck laugh again.

 

He coats his fingers lightly with the lube, puts the bottle down under the bed and then gets back in front of Raleigh, lifting Raleigh’s legs up, putting one of them on his shoulder. Then he presses his index and middle finger against Raleigh’s entrance and slowly pushes inside. Raleigh lets out a soft groan.

 

“How does it feel?” Chuck asks, his free hand caressing Raleigh’s thigh.

 

“Weird,” Raleigh replies with a sigh.

 

“Good weird or bad weird?” Chuck says.

 

Raleigh smiles. Chuck is honestly curious, and Raleigh almost expects him to start taking notes.

 

“Good weird,” Raleigh replies. “It’s like… it’s stretching out, like I have to go to the bathroom.”

 

Chuck pulls a face. “I don’t think I’m into _that_ sort of thing,” he says, raising an eyebrow.

 

Raleigh laughs. “No, I mean like… the sensation is different.” He rolls his eyes a little. “You _do_ have your fingers up my ass.”

 

“I do,” Chuck says, marking Raleigh’s point by twisting his fingers, thrusting them deeper inside, eliciting another groan from Raleigh.

 

Chuck begins to slide his fingers in and out in a steady rhythm, slowing down now and then to kiss Raleigh. Every stroke Raleigh feels a little looser, and his moans and sighs are almost constant. When Chuck thrusts in a third finger, Raleigh lets out a whispered, growling ‘fuck’ and grinds his hips towards Chuck’s hand.

 

“Raleigh,” Chuck says after a while, “Can I… do you think you’re ready?”

 

“I am so ready,” Raleigh breathes. “Come on,” he says, arching up his hips towards Chuck.

 

“Okay,” Chuck says, and he pulls his fingers out. Raleigh sighs, gazing up at Chuck with a tempting smile. Chuck reaches to the bottom drawer again, pulling out a condom.

 

“I’m glad you thought ahead,” Chuck says. It hadn’t really occurred to him to buy condoms, for all the studying he’d done.

 

“You’re not the only one who does prep work,” Raleigh replies with a chuckle.

 

Chuck carefully tears open the packaging, takes the condom out and pauses. “Um,” he starts.

 

Raleigh raises his eyebrows. “You don’t know how to put one on?” he says. Chuck shrugs. “I never had to.” Raleigh chuckles and sits up. “You just… roll it down, holding the tip at the end. Make sure you don’t get it inside-out,” he explains.

 

Chuck fumbles a little, much to Raleigh’s amusement, and manages to put the condom on without tearing it or going flaccid.

 

Finally, Chuck positions himself over Raleigh, pushing him down and lifting his legs up again.

 

“Okay, so… here I come,” Chuck says, slightly nervous. He positions his cock against Raleigh’s opening and pushes forward.

 

He doesn’t get the angle or force quite right, and Chuck’s cock slides upwards across Raleigh’s inner thigh. “Er,” he mutters, grabs his dick and tries again. This time he holds himself as he thrusts, and feels the pressure against the tip, but again he slides past.

 

“... Are you doing okay?” Raleigh asks.

 

“Look, I’ll get it right,” Chuck grumbles. “It’s my first time.”

 

Raleigh laughs. “It’s my first time too,” he says, and smiles. They look at each other, both laughing, like they just realized. Raleigh’s hand runs through Chuck’s hair, cupping his jaw. “Come closer.”

 

Raleigh pulls Chuck in for a deep kiss, and then reaches down to grasp Chuck’s cock, positions it again and Chuck slowly thrusts forward, guided inside by Raleigh’s hand.

 

They both hiss when the tip of Chuck’s cock slides past the tight muscle, and Chuck pushes a little further. “It’s so tight,” he whispers.

 

“I know,” Raleigh says, his hand digging into Chuck’s shoulder.

“Does it hurt?” Chuck asks.

“A little.”

“Should I stop?”

“Hell no,” Raleigh answers.

 

Slowly, Chuck pushes in further, and Raleigh lets out shallow, hissy breaths, his nails digging deep into the skin of Chuck’s shoulder.

 

“Wow, oh fuck, wow,” Raleigh mumbles. “Feels so strange… like you’re filling me up,” he says, and lets out another low groan and Chuck slides deeper inside.

 

Chuck is concentrating, trying to take it as slow as he can. Raleigh is incredibly hot and tight around him, unlike anything he’s ever felt, squeezing down so much it hurts. And Chuck wants to push down hard and deep ‘till he’s all the way inside but he doesn’t want to hurt Raleigh, so he braces himself, takes slow deep breaths until he feels Raleigh loosening a little, then carefully thrusts in more.

 

“Hey, talk to me,” Raleigh sighs. “How does it feel, inside me?”

 

Chuck bites his lip, still trying to hold back. “So tight,” he hisses. “You’re squeezing me.”

 

“Is that bad?” Raleigh says, genuinely worried.

 

“No, no, fuck, it’s so good,” Chuck growls. His muscles are trembling, tense with the effort of moving slowly. Beads of sweat are rolling down his face, hair sticking to his forehead.

 

Raleigh smiles, weaves a hand into Chuck’s hair. “You can let go,” Raleigh says. “It’s okay.”

 

“But I might hurt you,” Chuck mumbles, trying even harder to hold back.

 

“I know,” Raleigh says. “I want to feel it.” He bucks his hips up, causing Chuck to slide in deeper, and Chuck lets out a strangled groan. “I want to feel you all the way inside,” Raleigh finishes.

 

And that’s it for Chuck’s self-control. His hips jerk forward and he thrusts in, burying his full length inside Raleigh and it’s so hot, so tight, enveloping him entirely and he growls Raleigh’s name.

 

“Fuck, fuck, oh god, Raleigh,” Chuck groans, his entire body shivering. “You feel so good, _fuck_.”

 

It definitely hurts, but Raleigh can’t even make out whether it’s a good or a bad hurt, all he knows is it’s still not enough, he wants more, so he rolls his hips up towards Chuck.

 

And Chuck begins to move, he still attempts to go slow but it’s too much, he can’t hold back anymore, and he drives himself into Raleigh with fast, jerking movements and then he’s already _there_ , spasming, crying out, shuddering inside Raleigh.

 

Chuck is throbbing against his inner muscles and as Chuck’ release washes over him Raleigh strokes himself maddeningly fast, wanting to come still feeling Chuck inside him. He closes his eyes, his body stiffens and when he’s almost there he feels Chuck’s hand running through his hair, Chuck’s hand wrapping around the base of his cock and when Raleigh comes Chuck pulls out which sends another wave of pleasure through him and Chuck’s mouth is on his as he groans in orgasm.

 

Finally, Chuck collapses on top of him and he wraps his arms around Chuck, kissing up his neck and jaw to his mouth, and they’re both laughing and still shaking, their fingers tracing random lines across each other’s skin.

 

They almost drift off to sleep like that, sticky and sweaty and not even caring about the mess, when Chuck mumbles, “Happy Birthday.”

 

Raleigh laughs. “My birthday is in two weeks, dumbass,” he says.

 

“Early present,” Chuck says, his voice low and drowsy.

 

“Don’t think you’re getting out of getting me an actual present this way,” Raleigh replies with a chuckle.

 

Chuck nuzzles Raleigh’s chest and makes some sort of adorable noise. Raleigh kisses his forehead.

 

“I love you,” Raleigh says, his fingers softly brushing over Chuck’s cheek.

 

“Love you too,” Chuck replies sleepily.

 

Then Chuck jolts wide awake, pulls away from Raleigh and looks at him, and he turns so red in the face his freckles are coming off white.  
  
“Um, er, uh,” Chuck stammers.

 

But Raleigh just laughs and wraps his arms around Chuck, pulling him back in, squeezing him tight. “It’s okay,” Raleigh whispers. “You can let go.”

 

A part of Chuck still wants to run the hell away, but he doesn’t. He lets Raleigh hold him, and clings, staying quiet. Slowly, Raleigh feels Chuck relax again. Tomorrow, there will be showering and cleaning the sheets and possibly not being able to sit down very well, but for now it’s falling asleep together, smelling like sex, being in love, and finally letting go.


End file.
